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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29116629">Selfless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ax_stratus/pseuds/ax_stratus'>ax_stratus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Jealousy, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:41:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29116629</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ax_stratus/pseuds/ax_stratus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bad had always prided himself on his selflessness. He always tried his best to make everyone around him happy, even if it was at his own expense. Maybe it was his own selflessness that led to his downfall.</p><p>aka, the aftermath of skeppy's love or host</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>149</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Selfless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this was just written for fun! absolutely no hate or disrespect towards skeppy and madi</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bad chewed on his lips, his heart racing. "She chose…" The wait was killing him. It felt like eons that he spent, sitting and staring desperately at his blinding computer screen.</p><p>"...SHE CHOSE LOVE! CO-" The words became a distant ringing in his head. His heart plummeted in his chest. It was Bad's last hope that Skeppy would get hosted, as horribly mean as it sounded.</p><p>His head was still ringing when Skeppy started his own stream with the lucky girl. The one who was dressed as him. <i>Skeppy looked so happy with her.</i></p><p>Bad's throat tightened as he watched Skeppy give her a cornflower. And when he saw him place his bed next to hers, it felt like something ugly was crawling up his throat.</p><p>He drank some of his water. Distantly, he noticed that his hand was shaking. He needs to be happy for Skeppy. <i>It's what good friends do. Good friends are happy when their other is happy. Good friends are selfless. </i></p><p>Bad took a few deep breaths and continued watching the stream, the ringing fading a little. However, the unpleasant sensation in his throat hadn't eased. If anything, it had only gotten worse as time passed.</p><p>By the end of the stream, he had emptied his water bottle. Huh. He must be coming down with a cold!<i> Bad told himself, unwilling and unable to confront the creeping dread in his chest. </i></p><p>He pulled up discord, planning on talking to some folks in his server as he had promised earlier. <i> Deep breaths in, deep breaths out. 4 7 8. He can't make his fans worried. </i></p><p>The time passed in a blur. He was still recovering from the aftershock. Bad giggled his way through their questions about his feelings towards Skeppy's Love or Host, rambling on about he really won because the girl Skeppy picked looked just like him.</p><p>It was a facade. It was all a facade. <i>He couldn't worry his fans. </i></p><p>A message popped up on his phone. A Telegram notification, from Skeppy.<br/>
'wanna vc?<br/>
i wanna talk to u'</p><p>He had to type out his reply a couple times, his still shaking fingers mis-clicking on letters far too often than he'd admit.</p><p>'OwO<br/>
Of course! Call or teamspeak?'</p><p>'call pls'</p><p>'Ok one sec'</p><p>"I'll be right back! Gotta talk to Skeppy for a little bit." he said, leaving the call after they all said their goodbyes.</p><p>He called Skeppy, muscle memory from pressing the same buttons countless times guiding his shaking hands.</p><p>Skeppy picked up almost immediately. "Hey Bad." he greeted, a little subdued. Well, Bad wouldn't have expected anything less after being on stream for so long.</p><p>"Hi Skeppy!" he replied. Bad was unable to keep himself from smiling, genuinely this time. Despite all the heartbreak, Skeppy still never failed to make him smile. He really had it bad. <i>How cruel. </i></p><p>"I was watching your love or host. I'm so happy for you! Looks like you ended up finding love after all."</p><p>Skeppy chuckled. "Thanks, Bad. Y'know, despite all the jokes I made about you, just know that I love and care about you a lot. Your support means a lot to me." he said in that soft and sweet tone that Bad so adored.</p><p>In any other situation, it would make him happy. In this, it felt like knives to the heart, knowing that Skeppy didn't mean it in the way that Bad oh so desperately wanted.</p><p>"Awww…I love and care about you a lot too, Ske-" Bad cut himself off, coughing. "Ah, I think I'm coming down with a cold or something. I'm gonna go lie down in bed."</p><p>He could practically feel Skeppy's worry through the phone.<br/>
"Nooooooo! You know that I hate to see you sick. You better take care of yourself, Bad! That cough sounded nasty."</p><p>A little huff of laughter escaped without his consent. Oh, if only Skeppy knew. He would never let Skeppy know that he caused it. He'd rather die than let Skeppy know, because Skeppy was straight. There would be no point in causing him so much anguish for nothing.</p><p>"I'm sure I'll be fine, Skeppy. Just a cold. You know that I've already gotten covid before, no need to worry." He soothed him as laid down in his bed and pulled the blankets up to his chest.</p><p>Skeppy hummed, unconvinced. "Okay Bad… Just promise me that you'll go to the doctor if it gets too bad, alright? I know that you hate going to doctors but I don't want to see you suffer."</p><p>"I promise." Bad said with a weak smile. He couldn't go to a doctor for this. Just another broken vow to add to the countless already made between the two. "Anyways, how did you feel during the show? I bet it was nerve wracking."</p><p>"Oh, it definitely was. I bet you could tell from all my spammed messages though." Skeppy laughed. </p><p>"Right, right. For being so clingy, you sure were quick to kick me out." Bad teased. </p><p>"That's what you get for making me look bad in front of all those women!" Skeppy retorted indignantly.</p><p>"Yeah, I have to admit that it backfired quite a bit on me…"<br/>
"Backfired? What do you mean? Were you just being jealous again? Bet you just want me all to yourself." Skeppy said, a playful lilt in his voice.</p><p>"Wh- Yeah right! I am not jealous!" Bad sputtered. "I just- I just wanted to tease you!"</p><p>Skeppy giggled as Bad stumbled his way through excuses. "Mhm, I totally believe you." he remarked sarcastically. "But seriously though. Your nice messages and support for me during my love or host really mean a lot to me."</p><p>Bad sighed, his smile dropping a bit. "Of course! I'm your best friend, it would be mean of me not to!" <i>It would be too selfish, he wanted to say. But that would be edging too close to the border between just-for-fun bits and real hurt. </i></p><p>"Oh fudge. I forgot that I was supposed to go back to the discord channel... Well, I'm already in bed now, I'm sure they won't mind." He said, offhandedly, rolling over and nuzzling into his pineapple-patterned blankets.</p><p>"Wait, you were in a discord call?"<br/>
Bad hummed in confirmation. "Yeah, the one in my discord server.<br/>
"Oh." Bad couldn't tell if that was a good oh, or a bad one.</p><p>"Anyways, what did you think of Madi?" Bad asked, changing the subject.<br/>
Skeppy sighed adoringly. A pit formed in his stomach and Bad immediately started regretting his decision.</p><p>"I think I actually love her. Maybe that's too soon to say, considering I just met her today.." he chuckled bashfully. "But I think that we really clicked. She's pretty, she's sweet, she's funny. What else could a guy want?"</p><p>Bad's nails dug into his palms and he bit his lip so hard that he could taste the metallic tang of blood. A strangely bitter, almost sweet hint rose in the back of his mouth.</p><p>"I'm just glad you're happy." he spoke softly. And maybe he really did mean it. All he ever wanted was for Skeppy to be happy. </p><p>"Anyways." Bad cleared his throat, resisting the insistent urge to cough. "I think I'm gonna head to bed. You should too! You've had quite the eventful day."</p><p>"Mmm..maybe you're right. I am a bit tired." Skeppy murmured. "Well, I'm gonna sleep if you will too."</p><p>"Goodnight Skeppy! I love you!"<br/>
"Goodnight Bad, I love you too." Bad could tell that Skeppy was smiling on the other side. He always did whenever they...he couldn't bring himself to finish that thought. He needed to stop thinking that way anyways. Bringing up his hopes only to have them shattered again...<i> Deep down, he knew that those pesky thoughts would never leave his mind no matter how hard he tried. </i></p><p>And with that, Skeppy hung up on him. Bad set his phone on the nightstand, curling up on his side. Now that it was quiet, thoughts swirled endlessly through his head, tormenting him.</p><p>
  <i>Selfless, selfless, selfless. He should've opposed Skeppy's love or host with a firmer resolve. Gone through with his silly idea of getting a spy. Maybe then this wouldn't be happening. But he had to make Skeppy happy. Skeppy's happiness was more important than his. He'd give anything to see his smile. It doesn't matter. This would've happened eventually anyways, Skeppy was bound to get another girlfriend at some point. It doesn't matter it doesn't matter it doesn't matter IT DOESN'T MATTER. </i>
</p><p>Bad didn't know when he had started crying. There was a damp spot on his pillow and his cheeks were wet. Soft hiccups forced their way through Bad's diaphragm and his protesting throat.</p><p>He couldn't breathe. HE COULDN'T BREATHE. Bad jolted up from his bed, and started gagging, desperately trying to remove whatever was clogging his throat all while tears kept streaming down his cheeks. </p><p>It felt like hours of torture before he finally hacked up the blockage.</p><p>A few small blue petals sat on in his hands, wet and wilted from his saliva. <i>Cornflowers… </i>he recognized dazedly through the intense dread and blurred eyes. It only confirmed his worst suspicions.</p><p>He had hanahaki disease. Bad was doomed. </p><p> </p><p>The next day wasn't any easier. His voice was a teensy bit hoarse and his throat was still sore. He went through the motions of his day on autopilot, the cloud of sorrow and self pity that came with unrequited love never quite leaving him.</p><p>And sometimes, it would get worse. He coughed up more petals that day. Seeing Madi and Skeppy flirt on his timeline made him sick to his stomach while the vines in his lungs only grew.</p><p>Their scheduled recording time was coming up soon. This time, he couldn't afford to miss it, after the disaster the last time that Skeppy tried to record a video with him, no matter how sick he felt.</p><p>A full bottle of water accompanied him on his desk while he waited idly for Skeppy to join Teamspeak. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long.</p><p>"Bad!" Skeppy greeted happily. "Not late this time, I see."<br/>
"That was a one time thing! I told you that I had fallen asleep so I could wake up early for your love or host.." Bad whined.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Skeppy said with a more serious tone. "Your voice...it's really hoarse."</p><p>"Pft, it's not that bad." Bad brushed off. "Just a little cold." he repeated.</p><p>"Well...if you say so." Skeppy acquiesced reluctantly. </p><p>"Anyways, what are we going to be recording today, Skeppy? You still haven't told me anything, in case you've forgotten. It better not be another trolling video." Bad grumbled.</p><p>Skeppy laughed. "No, no. It's not a trolling video this time. I just thought that we should start our own SMP!" he exclaimed. </p><p>"I mean- the Idots se-" "No, no!" Skeppy cut him off. "One with just the two of us. No Tommys to blow up our builds, no Vurbs to tease us. How does that sound?"</p><p>Bad hummed appreciatively. "That sounds like fun! Just the two of us?" <i>He couldn't stop the bloom of affection and happiness in his heart. </i></p><p>"Just the two of us." Skeppy confirmed. "Here, I'll send you the IP." He stayed silent for a little bit as he copy and pasted the server IP and sent it to Bad.</p><p>"And...there! Join the server, I'm already waiting for you!" Skeppy chirped. "Coming, coming." Bad giggled. "So impatient."</p><p>He entered the IP and joined the server, pleasantly surprised to see Skeppy's oddly endearing diamond block skin right up close when he spawned in.</p><p>"Oh hi!" Bad beamed. "Hi Bad!" Skeppy replied, hitting him in game. </p><p>"Hey!" he squaked before hitting Skeppy back in retaliation. </p><p>"Okay, okay. Let's not start fighting now, we gotta start gathering resources so we can make the most epic SMP out there!" Skeppy exclaimed excitedly.</p><p>Bad had half a mind to protest(Skeppy hit him first!) but ultimately decided against it.</p><p>Soon, he was at ease. Bickering with Skeppy over him stealing Bad's food and his iron, arguing about what kind of house to build, and eventually settling down and f̶l̶i̶r̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ making up.</p><p>They were currently going over the interior design of their cottage. Bad was doing most of the building while Skeppy ran around the house, occasionally contributing a little. He was the better builder, after all. That was just objective. </p><p>Skeppy placed down a flower pot next to his bed and planted a cornflower in it. At first, Bad's heart fluttered, thinking of their matching flower motifs. "Cornflowers remind me of her..." he murmured softly.</p><p>Bad's heart sank, an all encompassing cold enveloping his body. Something made its way up his throat again and this time, he couldn't repress it. That was he and Skeppy's thing. Maybe he really was being replaced. It was almost funny, how quick his mood had shifted. </p><p>He started hacking up his lungs, clutching onto his desk for dear life. Tears beaded in the corners of his eyes, threatening to pour down his cheeks.</p><p>After he finally got the petals out(<i>there were more this time. not quite a full bud yet but still more than last time</i>), he shook his hand and disposed of them into his trash can, a bitter feeling filling him. Now the petals brought about anger. His favorite flowers, tainted by jealousy.</p><p>When he finally shifted back into focus, he could hear Skeppy's worried calls from his headset. He forgot to mute.</p><p>
  <i>Bad made Skeppy more worried. So much for being selfless. </i>
</p><p>"Ahem! What were we doing?"<br/>
"Bad. We don't have to record if you're not feeling good… That sounded really bad. You should really go to a doctor, maybe you have pneumonia or something! I don't want you to suffer anymore." Skeppy pleaded.</p><p>Bad smiled, bittersweet. "There's nothing they can do anyways. I'll be fine, don't worry about me. Let's get back to the video."</p><p>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT THERE'S NOTHING THAT THEY CAN DO??" Skeppy screeched. "Bad, seriously. I'm really worried about you."</p><p>"No, no!" Bad backtracked. "I just meant- I just meant that it's not even worth going to the doctor!" he laughed nervously. "Just a little cold."</p><p>"Hmmmm.. okay, I'll let you off the hook this time. Just, if it gets worse, please go see a doctor. Please. I just want you to be okay."</p><p>Bad sighed. "Let's just get back to the video."</p><p>And if Skeppy noticed Bad's lack of energy during the remainder of their recording session, he didn't comment on it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i may have a slight obsession with italics</p></blockquote></div></div>
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